


The Christmas Curse

by MiraclesofPaul



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: First Time, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, M/M, Only One Bed, Pining, Weekend trip, holiday fic, kissing under the mistletoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 14:20:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17003280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraclesofPaul/pseuds/MiraclesofPaul
Summary: After kissing under the mistletoe, everyone in the office assumes they've slept together. They didn't, but now Shane can't stop thinking about Ryan.And well, if his life was going to become a sad, pathetic holiday Lifetime movie about falling in love with your best friend, he’d play along.





	The Christmas Curse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [doradita](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doradita/gifts).



> As always, a special thanks to Tiia for being such an inspiration. Happy holidays, everyone!

The annual Buzzfeed Holiday Party always turned the office into a mini winter wonderland, with Christmas lights everywhere giving the whole place a twinkling glow and all of the furniture pushed back to create some dancing room. Everyone got a little dressed up and a little bit tipsy, and the combination of it all gave the night a special feeling, like anything could happen.

And oh boy, things usually _did_ happen. For one, each year a mistletoe was taped over a new doorway (next to a sign that read _Only if both parties want to! Don’t be gross!_ thanks to the Buzzfeed legal department), and the excitement of seeing who the lucky people would be always got people talking. On top of that, ever since Shane started working at Buzzfeed, the rumor had always been that the party carried with it a curse – creatively referred to as the Christmas Curse – which made two unsuspecting people hook up, offering up a tasty sacrifice to the gossip mill.

Shane didn’t believe in curses, of course. He knew it was just a mix of alcohol, brain chemicals, and those shiny lights that got horny people to make bad decisions. Still, it _did_ consistently happen every single year, and this year he had ten bucks riding on Freddie and Devin.

There was chemistry there, Shane just knew it.

So Shane put on a nice shirt and actually tried to make his hair look presentable for the occasion. Two drinks in, he and TJ had a very pleasant chat about the tragedy of L.A. not getting any snow on Christmas, how Shane’s parents were going on a cruise this year and so Shane was gonna be in town this holiday season, and how TJ was in a feud with his neighbors over their bad taste in Christmas decorations.

Three drinks in, and Shane killed it at karaoke with a beautiful rendition of “Santa Baby.”

By his fourth drink, Shane felt pleasantly buzzed and light and forgot to keep an eye out for that mistletoe.

He bumped into Ryan as Shane was on his way to grab food. Ryan had really dressed up for the occasion, wearing a festive red tie and everything. He looked pretty damn good. Shane couldn’t help but saying, “Well, well, well, look at you!”

“I’m making all you suckers step up the game,” Ryan said with cockiness, adjusting his tie.

They fell into easy conversation, reminiscing about the year that Chelsea Peretti had unexpectedly dropped by and how last year Keith had been sweating in a Santa costume the whole night. They were having such a good time, innocently standing by the doorway, that it came as a surprise when suddenly Steven Lim yelled, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Hey! Shane and Ryan are gonna kiss!”

They turned instantly to Steven and realized that now pretty much everyone in the room had their eyes on them. Several people already had their phones pointing at them.

“ _What?_ ” Ryan said.

“The mistletoe! You’re right under it!”

Shane looked and sure enough, there it was. He couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, alright,” he said, hands coming up placatingly, hoping to deescalate the situation. “I don’t think –”

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Steven started chanting.

It took off in seconds. The rest of their co-workers started yelling, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

Ryan’s eyes were wide, mouth open, like when he thought he heard a ghost bumping around in the next room. Shane’s alcohol infused brain thought it was absolutely hilarious. Out of all the people he could’ve ended up with under the mistletoe, it had to be the Bergmeister?

Hearing him laugh, Ryan turned and glared at him. “Are you seriously going along with this?”

Shane shrugged. “We gotta give the people what they want, Ryan.”

“Less talking, more kissing!” Steven yelled.

“Alright! Alright, we’re going!” Ryan yelled back. “Jesus, you people are monsters!”

The small crowd just whooped and cheered as Ryan turned back to face Shane. Ryan rolled his eyes and stepped forward, head tilted up.

Shane had meant for it to be a small, quick kiss, just to appease their degenerate co-workers. Or at least, he was pretty sure that had been the original idea. But perhaps he was way more drunk than he thought, because when he actually leaned down and kissed Ryan, things got...confusing.

Their lips met, and then Ryan’s arms were around his neck and Shane’s were around Ryan, pulling him close until they were pressed together. Shane had no idea at what point the kiss deepened, and suddenly it wasn’t so innocent anymore. Ryan smelled really good, his cologne a mix of something smokey and woodsy that felt overwhelmingly intoxicating. Why hadn’t Shane ever noticed how good Ryan smelled?

He completely forgot about the crowd, about the party. They kept kissing and kissing, sending pleasurable chills rushing up and down Shane’s body. All he could think about is Ryan’s lips moving against his own, and it wasn’t until someone yelled, “Holy shit!” that Shane was yanked back into reality.

As he and Ryan pulled back, he quickly realized that he had no idea how long they’d been kissing.

Ryan looked dazed, like he usually did when they had to wake up at an ungodly hour and he wasn’t quite awake yet. Ryan took a step back, eyes still on Shane.

The crowd began clapping and cheering, and someone yelled, “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”

It seemed to snap Ryan out of whatever trance he’d been stuck in. He turned to everyone and yelled, “Are you happy now, you perverts?”

He was answered by more cheers and several wolf-whistles. Shane couldn’t help but start laughing, and once he started he couldn’t _stop_ laughing. For a second he wondered if maybe he was a tiny bit delirious. He didn’t really know what had just happened, and he certainly didn’t know what to do now that it was over. He felt unsteady on his feet, like his body didn’t remember how to hold itself up without Ryan glued to him.

Ryan said something about going to the bathroom, and Shane said, “Yeah, I was gonna go grab some food,” as Ryan sped walked away from him. Everyone seemed to have moved on from the excitement already, going back to talking amongst themselves and milling around.

Shane couldn’t help but huff out another laugh as he left the room, heading to the kitchen area. Had he really just kissed Ryan? Had they really ended up making out? His brain responded that it was a ridiculous idea to even suggest it, but he had undeniably been there when it happened. And now Shane knew that Ryan Steven Bergara was a great kisser. Weird.

A strange feeling in his stomach grew as he walked, like a ball of hot white light had entered his body, like he might float away any second now. His thoughts felt jumbled as he reached the kitchen. He had come to get food, but he didn’t really feel like eating right now. A nice, strong drink or three seemed like a great idea though.

The last clear thought he remembered having was about wondering where Ryan bought his cologne and if it would be weird to ask. Things got a fuzzy from there. He remembered dancing with Daysha at one point and posing for pictures wearing reindeer antlers. He remembered telling himself to stop looking for Ryan in the crowd. There were definitely _a lot more_ drinks and Maya shook his hand and congratulated him on getting to kiss Ryan and then somewhere along the way Ryan was suddenly back again.

The tie was gone, and Shane remembered being distracted by that fact as he and Ryan argued about the “evidence” in the footage that Ryan had been reviewing for the new season. He remembered Ryan saying, “It’s clear as day! Listen to it again,” and then they were both in the tiny editing booth, standing close together, and Ryan’s distracting cologne.

And that was pretty much it.

***

The first thing Shane saw when he woke up the next morning, head throbbing, was Ryan’s sleeping face on the pillow next to him. The covers came up to Ryan’s chest, but the bare shoulders gave away the fact that he wasn’t wearing a shirt. With a sinking feeling, Shane realized that he was also very much not wearing a shirt either.

As he sat up, however, he was relieved to find that he still had on his pants, his belt buckled and everything. Still, all signs were pointing to Shane being the one responsible for that huge hickey on Ryan’s neck, which still meant...

Oh god…

 _Well, I lost that bet_ , Shane thought, groaning a little as he brought a hand up to his head.

“Please tell me you’re not naked,” Ryan said, eyes now open.

“Pants are on. Are you?”

“Pants are on too. Okay, then we just… Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Shane repeated, though he wasn’t exactly sure how Ryan had meant to finish that sentence.  Just made out and kept it above the waist? Just became this year's Christmas Curse victims? Just made the next several weeks incredibly awkward for themselves?

Ryan pulled the covers over his head and groaned.

“It’s okay,” Shane said, following his usual impulse to comfort Ryan and make things better. “We don’t have to be weird about this. It’s not like we actually did anything, right?”

“Ugh, I guess,” came Ryan’s muffled reply from under the covers.

“That’s the spirit. So um, I’m gonna go find my shirt and steal some of your Tylenol and let’s just not be weird about this.”

Ryan snorted and said, “Yeah, good luck with that, town weirdo.”

“See, you’re doing such a good job already.”

Shane found his shirt in the living room right next to the shirt that Ryan had been wearing last night. He put his shirt back on, deciding not to think too hard about what might have happened on the couch last night.

Instead he made his way to the kitchen. He’d been in Ryan’s apartment more than enough times to know where Ryan kept painkillers and coffee. The coffee was just about ready when Ryan came out of the bedroom, now wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants.

Ryan took a deep breath, leaned against the counter, and said, “Mmm, coffee.”

“Have you checked your phone yet?”

“No. How bad is it?”

“Well, considering I’ve already been a meme, not too bad. Our little mistletoe kiss is a big hit in all the Buzzfeed group texts though.”

“We need to trap and torture Steven for real this time.”

“Know where we can get a bunch of gold to start building his new prison?”

Ryan wheezed out a laugh, and Shane’s heart decided to do a funny little flip at the sound. Ryan said, “Let’s look at eBay later. Maybe we can find a good deal.”

Shane poured the coffee into two mugs and handed one to Ryan. They settled into a silence that didn’t start out as awkward but definitely started to feel weird as the seconds ticked by. Shane wasn’t sure if Ryan felt it too, the sudden weight of knowing they’d wandered outside of the lines of friendship last night.

The heaviness of feeling like he would really like to do it again.

“Do you think people saw us leave together?” Shane asked, mostly to end the silence and the ridiculous thoughts in his head.

Ryan looked up at the ceiling and said, “Please God, make it so that no one saw.”

***

Clearly God was very busy around the holiday season, what with overlooking Santa and all the Christmas miracles, since it turned out that pretty much every single person working for Buzzfeed – including the New York, San Francisco, and international offices – knew that Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara were the chosen sacrifices for the Christmas Curse that year.

As soon as Shane arrived to work that Monday, all of his co-workers gave him knowing smiles and said perfectly normal things in horribly insinuating voices, like _Did you have a nice weekend?_ or _Nice party, right Shane?_ By the time he made it to his desk, he partly expected a cake to be there that just flat out said, _Congratulations on having sex with Ryan Bergara!_

But there was no cake, and Ryan wasn’t at his own desk either. That wasn't particularly weird or anything. Ryan wasn’t exactly an early riser, so it was silly to suddenly feel worried about the fact that Ryan hadn’t gotten to the office yet.

But they hadn’t talked since Shane left Ryan’s apartment that Saturday morning, which was a bit contrary to their promise of not letting things get weird. Not that he and Ryan talk every single day, but this felt different. He’d tried all weekend to come up with something normal to text Ryan, something that didn’t sound like he was trying too hard to avoid talking about what happened but nothing that actually _did_ mention what happened. He couldn’t come up with anything, and Ryan didn’t text him either, which meant that Shane had no idea where they actually stood.

Shane was lost in thought when he heard Ryan’s voice suddenly next to him say, “Everyone knows.”

Ryan looked both pissed off and miserable. Shane couldn’t help feel a tiny bit guilty, especially since despite Ryan’s high-collar shirt, the hickey Shane left was still pretty visible.

“Yeah,” Shane said with a sigh. “Someone must have seen us.”

“I bet it was Zack,” Ryan said darkly, glaring over Shane’s shoulder.

Shane turned around to look, and sure enough, Zack Evans was standing on the other side of the room, grinning at his phone. Shane frowned. “Really? Zack?”

“Hey, Zack!” Ryan yelled and marched towards him.

All Shane could do was scramble to follow him.

“Heeey, ghoul boys! Have _fun_ this weekend?” Zack punched Ryan’s shoulder playfully, that gigantic grin still on his face.

“Was it you?” Ryan asked. “Did you tell everyone we left the party together?”

“Whoa, hey, don’t look at me,” Zack said, hands raised to prove his innocence. “Everyone saw for themselves. You two were making out all over the place. That little mistletoe kiss wasn’t enough, huh guys?”

Ryan didn’t seem to find it funny. “I remember you taking pictures of us.”

“Oh okay, I did do that.” Zack at least had the decency to sound a little apologetic. “But that was just for proof so that I’d win the bet. I got fifty bucks thanks to you guys. The rest was just the curse working its sexy magic.”

“You bet on _us_?” Shane asked, both a little horrified and _very_ intrigued.

“You two have that chemistry! Everyone knew it was bound to happen one of these days. But hey, if it makes you feel better, the whole office is really rooting for you guys. We all ship it.”

“Oh god, please don’t talk ever again,” Ryan said, a hand coming up to cover his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m with Ryan on this one,” Shane said. “But also thanks, I guess?”

“Any time, boys! Make sure I get a wedding invite.”

“Ha ha, that’s just hilarious,” Ryan said stoically, once again glaring at Zack. “I’m just dying from laughter over here.”

Zack just punched Ryan’s shoulder again and waved goodbye, leaving Shane and Ryan in another stew of uncomfortable silence.

Mostly Shane just didn’t know what to say. It was clear that Ryan found this way more upsetting than Shane did. He and Ryan both knew the truth, and Shane didn’t even remember most of what _did_ happen anyway. It didn’t really matter to Shane what other people thought – though he did wish people could keep their comments to themselves.

Ryan, however, grumbled something about adding Zack to his list and stalked off.

The rest of the day continued on with people winking at him or giggling as he walked by. Shane knew there was no point in telling them that nothing happened; who would believe that? Each year the two curse victims either got together or enough time passed that people got bored with the gossip and forgot. Shane just needed to lay low.

By Tuesday the mortifying shock seemed to have worn off for Ryan. He rolled his eyes and had little comebacks ready whenever people made comments at him, and when they had the Unsolved team meeting that morning, he and Ryan sat next to each other like normal. They even bickered about the literary value of the hot daga (Ryan: “There is none.” Shane: “Shakespeare cries himself to sleep wishing he had written it.”) and Shane thought that things were perfectly fine.

He and Ryan were totally and completely _fine_.

But Ryan ate lunch with Brent that day, just like he had on Monday. And then again on Wednesday. And Ryan hadn’t texted him or talked to him outside of work related things. Shane couldn’t say that Ryan was avoiding him, exactly, but there was definitely a new distance forming that felt rather alarming.

He and Ryan had always been good friends, and ever since Unsolved and all the traveling and all the time spent together, they’d grown even closer. It felt disorienting to suddenly not have him there. He had never realized before how much of his daily routine involved Ryan: coffee breaks, running ideas by each other, lunchtime, general goof off time around 3PM, and on and on. Suddenly Ryan was hardly ever at his desk, and Shane was pretty sure it all tied back to what happened at the party.

So he decided to try to fix it.

That afternoon he managed to catch Ryan in the breakroom. Shane did his best to push down that strange, nervous feeling in his chest and asked, “Hey, wanna come over tonight and watch a movie?”

Shane said it perfectly normal, the way he knew he’d said it a thousand times before. It just _felt_ different. And to Shane’s horror, Ryan hesitated to answer. There were three painful seconds where Shane feared that Ryan was trying to come up with an excuse, where Shane felt panic begin to creep up.

But then Ryan said, “Yeah, sounds good. Around seven?”

“Yeah, seven,” Shane hurriedly answered, hoping the relief in his voice isn’t too obvious.

And then Steven fucking Lim, speaking at a volume loud enough for the whole office, said, “Hot date tonight, huh?”

“We have no trouble physically hurting you, Lim,” Ryan said. “Let’s see how you’re gonna eat all those gold bars when you have no teeth.”

“You gonna get your boyfriend to beat me up, Bergara?” Steven said, an overjoyed grin on my face.

“I’m gonna beat you up myself.”

Steven just laughed and didn’t seem the least bit worried. “Hey, I’m just saying, don’t plan your ‘Netflix and chill’ dates out in the open if you don’t want innocent ears to hear.”

Shane cringed and turned to Ryan. “Why do people keep saying such disgusting things to us? And on Jesus’s birthday month, no less!”

“Have fun sucking each other’s faces off tonight,” Steven said as he walked away from them, probably off to terrorize some other unsuspecting victims.

***

They were halfway into _Die Hard_ when Ryan turned to him and asked, “This isn’t a date, right?”

Shane felt himself freeze. He’d been wondering that all afternoon, had worried that maybe that’s what Ryan expected. Ryan had come in a different outfit than the one he’d been wearing at the office, which had pointed to this possibly being a date, but then Ryan had sat on the opposite side of the couch and had barely looked at Shane since he got there. He and Ryan had never been overly touchy friends, but they had been at a point in their friendship where casual touching was perfectly normal. Now Ryan looked like he was holding himself _away_ from Shane, like he feared they might accidentally touch. They’d been silently staring at the screen with none of their usual easiness.

If they were on a date, it was a pretty lousy one.

“Steven just got in our heads,” Shane said. “We’re just watching a movie like normal. Right?”

“Right,” Ryan said with an uneasy sounding laugh. “I mean, we would _know_ if this was a date.”

“Of course.” But something felt funny in Shane’s chest, a stinging sensation that made him shift uncomfortably.

With Ryan facing the TV again, Shane could see the fading hickey on Ryan’s neck. He suddenly wished he could remember more of that night. He and Ryan had mostly avoided talking about it – not that they had even had the chance to talk much about anything – but suddenly Shane was dying to know what Ryan remembered.

Shane managed to keep his eyes on the rest of the movie, though he really wasn’t paying any attention to it. Mostly he kept wondering how exactly he should ask Ryan about that night without freaking him out. Talking about it didn’t have to be a huge thing, right? It was probably healthy, even, to just go ahead and address the giant Ghost of Buzzfeed Holiday Party Past in the room.

And maybe, Shane hoped, whatever answers Ryan provided would distract Shane from the twinge of disappointment he felt that it didn’t seem like Ryan wanted this to be a date.

When the movie ended, Shane hit pause and said in his best nonchalant voice, “Hey, so how much do you remember about that night?”

Ryan crossed his arms and seemed to hunch into himself even more, but he still answered, “Not a ton. Um, after everyone peer pressured us into kissing under the mistletoe, Zack and I did way too many shots. Like, an irresponsible amount. Then you were being obnoxious like usual, and I wanted you to hear the recording from the Fontaine house–”

“And even drunk it still sounded like the wind.”

“It’s _clearly_ a voice. It’s _three whole_ words. The wind can say words now?”

“Okay, we’re getting off topic here. Let’s fight about this onscreen. So we were in the booth.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, but he let it go easily enough, his shoulders less tense now. “We were in the booth and...and we were drunk and so we kissed. It gets a little foggy after that, but I remember thinking that Zack had taken a picture of us – which he has as his phone background, by the way,” Ryan said the last bit with an indignant look on his face, which Shane couldn’t help but find very adorable. “We have to report him to HR.”

Shane wheezed out a laugh. “Oh yeah, he emailed it to me. Terrible lighting.”

Ryan laughed, that full-bodied one where he threw his head back and seemed so open to the world, and Shane felt a flood of relief at seeing it. He hadn’t seen it in days, and he had missed it terribly. Ryan said, “I hope you told him his camera work was shitty. We have to make him pay one way or another.”

“We’ll throw him into the dungeon with Steven.”

“Can we fit all of our coworkers into that dungeon?”

“If we find a big enough castle, maybe,” Shane said, momentarily pondering how they could fit all of those people in there before he remembered that they had more important things to talk about. “Wait, we’re getting distracted again. Do you remember anything else from that night?”

“Not really.” Some of the awkwardness crept back into Ryan’s posture. “I think we decided to go back to my place ‘cause it’s closer, but then, um. We woke up, and I just had hickeys in some interesting places.”

“Oh.” Shane hoped his face didn’t look as hot as it felt.

“At least we managed to keep our pants on and not do anything too stupid, right? What do you remember?”

“Pretty much the same. It’s like my brain turned off after the editing booth. It’s really weird. I haven’t actually blacked out since I was sixteen.”

“You were out partying at sixteen?” Ryan asked, brows furrowed in skepticism.

“No, my friend Jimmy had an older cousin who gave him two bottles of vodka one time, and we were idiots. Our town was also very boring.”

Ryan laughed and said, “I see. That makes more sense. I guess there really is something to the Christmas Curse.”

“Let’s make an episode out of it. The terrifying mystery of the Buzzfeed Christmas Curse.”

“We’ll say ghosts made us do it.”

“Or aliens. Y’know like when we force lab rats to fuck?”

Ryan laughed, giving him that look like he was absolutely delighted by the nonsense that came out of Shane’s mouth, and there it was again. The urge to pull Ryan closer, to find out what it was like to kiss him sober.

It was with a sinking feeling that Shane realized he might be in trouble.

It was even worse when it was time to say goodbye, and Ryan kept that more than respectable distance solidly in place. The air around them felt awkward and uncomfortably new as Ryan seemed to be in a big hurry to go.

So Shane was pretty horribly fucked.

***

The realization was bad enough on its own. So he had a crush on Ryan – big whoop. That could’ve been shoved down, ignored, and hidden away for their friendship’s sake. But instead, his brain had to go and start infiltrating his dreams as well.

Dreams about where those other hickeys could’ve been. Dreams about snow and Ryan in beanies. Dreams where Ryan felt the same way too. It left Shane’s head spinning when he woke up.

He felt helpless to it all. It felt like the whole holiday season was against him. Did so many Christmas songs have to double as love songs? The only thing he could do was curse Christmas right back, as well as all lingering pagan rituals that got two perfectly good friends to fuck it all up by kissing.

He spent most of his work day trying (and failing) to not stare at Ryan pathetically and eating the endless parade of Christmas cookies around the office. He watched as Ryan smiled at everyone else, as Ryan hummed along to “White Christmas.” Each day it seemed as if the nagging feeling of _want_ grew stronger and stronger.

They still talked. They _had_ to talk. That was a pretty big chunk of their jobs. But it wasn’t the same as before, and Shane had absolutely no idea what to do or what it meant.

The worst was when they had to film in the editing booth, just the two of them and a camera. Shane tried his best to act normal, to not look like his heart was racing. He listened to the tiny, _could literally be anything_ noises that Ryan considered proof of a ghost and tried to think of something funny to say. He tried not to think about how this was the closest they’d stood next to each other in days, possibly since they woke up in the same bed. Tried to ignore the fact that Ryan smelled just as good as his dreams kept reminding him.

If Ryan noticed that Shane was being a little louder than usual, a little more eager to get a reaction out of him, he didn’t say anything. He just insisted that Shane was deaf and that this was a win for team Boogara.

When filming was over, Ryan got the hell out of there as fast as he could. Suspiciously fast. Usually Ryan was a little bit better at pretending like he could stomach being around Shane.

And it made Shane think that maybe, perhaps, Ryan might have felt affected by being back in there too. And that maybe, perhaps, _possibly_ Ryan might've felt the same way Shane did.

***

That small, stupid sliver of hope was what got Shane to sign up for the holiday retreat. Each year Buzzfeed rented some rooms at a fancy ski resort and sent producers up for the weekend. It was supposed to be a time to share ideas and come up with new content, but from all the tales Shane had heard about the trip, it seemed like it was mostly just a weekend trip where everyone goofed off.

Usually Shane went back to Illinois for Christmas, but not this year. So Shane figured, why not? If he was going to be in the West Coast for Christmas, he might as well still see a bit of snow. Plus, most importantly, Ryan went on the retreat every year.

And well, if his life was going to become a sad, pathetic holiday Lifetime movie about falling in love with your best friend, he’d play along.

That was how he ended up in the Buzzfeed parking lot at an ungodly hour with a packed weekend bag. And y’know, even if Ryan didn’t realize that the right man for him had been by his side the whole time, then maybe they could use this time to get their friendship back on track. Just two buds, hanging out, like the old times.

Except that when Shane got on the bus, Ryan was already there, headphones in and staring out the window. And he was already sitting next to Brent.

Shanes eyes narrowed instinctively. Ryan sure had been spending a lot of time with Brent recently. Ryan ate lunch with Brent now and spent a large chunk of the day hanging out at Brent’s desk. And the thing is, Shane was perfectly aware of the fact that Ryan and Brent were strictly friends. Shane had met Brent’s partner plenty of times, and he knew there was nothing romantic going on with them. But that didn’t stop the jealous sting that always hit him at the thought of being replaced in Ryan’s life. Who did Brent think he was, taking up all the time that used to belong to Shane?

This called for action.

So Shane sat down next to Jen, who was holding a giant travel mug and a clipboard.

Jen smiled at him as he sat down and they chatted about the trip and how she got roped into being in charge of the details and Shane thanked her for letting him squeeze in last minute. He waited until they were about halfway into the trip, when everyone was being loud enough that there was little chance of anyone overhearing, to ask, “Hey, so have the rooms already been assigned?”

“No, not yet. You wanna put in a request?”

“Uh, yeah. Ryan and I were sorta hoping to room together.”

She grinned and waggled her eyebrows at him in that way Shane had gotten pretty used to. It seemed to be the office’s favorite move. “Oh, I _see_. No problem, I’ll jot you two down then. Actually, this kinda works out perfectly.”

“Cool, thanks,” was all Shane said, not wanting to press his luck by asking exactly what she meant by that.

“So are you two...?” She looked at him expectantly, eager for the scoop.

“What?” Shane asked, feigning innocence.

“Is he your boyfriend yet?”

“ _Jen_ ,” he hissed, looking around quickly to make sure no one heard, face uncomfortably warm as he remembered the dream he had last night. Ryan telling him he wanted them to be together, kissing by a big fireplace, and then things taking a rather steamy turn.  

She just laughed, and Shane felt a little pathetic from how much he suddenly wished that she was right. “It’s cute you two are being shy about it.”

“We’re not,” he said, not adding that there wasn’t even anything to be shy about. “I’m not spilling any beans here, if that’s what you’re hoping. You’re better off asking ol’ Loose Lips Bergara over there.”

And hopefully reporting back to Shane so that he could have even a tiny clue about what was going on in his head.

By the time they reached the resort, a fancy cabin-inspired building with a decent blanket of snow around it, Jen had thankfully let the subject go. Shane followed her to get the keys for everyone, partly to genuinely help her, partly to avoid getting caught.

With his and Ryan’s room key in hand, Shane made his way back to the group, eyes looking for Ryan like they always did. Surprise, surprise, he was standing by Brent.

And as Shane got closer, he heard Ryan ask Brent, “Wanna room together?”

 _Fuck_. Shane tried his best not physically flinch, hoping the guilt of what he’d done wasn’t too obvious on his face. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he said, “Hey, Ryan, um. Jen actually put us together already.” He held up the key and shrugged, hoping it came off as believably casual in a _well, what can you do, right?_ way.

“Oh,” Ryan said and traded a look with Brent. Shane had no idea what _that_ meant. “That’s cool. Um, okay. Let’s go dump our stuff then.”

They waved goodbye to Brent and set off for their room, that weird and seemingly permanent tension hanging around them. Shane was really starting to regret this plan. It had been stupid and probably a huge mistake. He thought about telling Ryan that he could switch places with Brent. If that was who Ryan would rather hang out with, who was Shane to stand in his way?

But as they entered their room, Shane suddenly felt his face heat up again.

There was only one bed.

“Oh,” Shane said. “That’s….weird.”

“Guess the office is still gossiping, huh?” Ryan said, dropping his bag on the bed.

“Yeah... Yeah, they must be yucking it up right now. Um, I can talk to Jen about it, though, and see if we can switch rooms, if you want.”

“We’ve shared a bed before, right? It’ll be like we’re filming for an episode.”

“Oh, so you’ll lay awake all night hearing things go bump in the night and waking me up every hour?” Shane said before he could stop himself.

Thankfully Ryan laughed and said, “Fuck you! Fine, I’ll murder you in your sleep. Then you’ll sleep forever. How about that?”

“Great. And if I turn into a ghost, I promise to haunt you. I’m a real team player.”

“How kind of you.” Ryan rolled his eyes but was smiling as he headed for the door. “Don’t you dare die in a skiing accident today!” he called over his shoulder. “Wouldn’t want to miss my chance to smother you with a pillow.”

Shane didn’t see Ryan for the rest of the day. He tried not to feel too disappointed as he hung out with Andrew and Adam, who kept sending Steven videos and photos of all the fun time he was missing out on by being home with his family. He shouldn’t have expected that being out here, away from normal life, would have given him and Ryan a chance to rekindle their quickly fading friendship.

It really wasn’t fair, Shane thought. Their friendship was practically in shambles, and they hadn’t even fucked! Shane could’ve gone the rest of his life without being forced to acknowledge his attraction to Ryan, without realizing that he wanted way more than just friendship. Now looking at Ryan made Shane’s heart melt like he was staring at a basket of kittens, and it just wasn’t _fair_.

Shane kept his eye out for Ryan, hoping to catch him by the lounge or at the dining hall or _anywhere_. It was late by the time Shane gave up and went to their room. He changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants, figuring that was safer than sleeping in his boxers like usual.

Over an hour later, Shane was under the covers, watching Jim Carrey’s _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ , and starting to accept the fact that Ryan probably wasn’t coming. Ryan was probably sleeping on Brent’s floor or maybe even out on a couch in the lounge. Anything to avoid Shane.

Shane was commiserating with the Grinch as he glared down at Whoville and yelled out his hatred when suddenly the door opened, startling him.

“Hey,” Ryan said as he stepped into the room, perfectly natural and normal – except that he seemed to be looking at anything but Shane. Ryan grabbed his bag and headed to the bathroom, and Shane tried to stop his stomach from feeling so nervous.

Like Ryan had said, they’d shared a bed before. This wasn’t anything new, and Shane had been wrong to think that Ryan might return his feelings. Nothing was going to happen. He repeated that to himself over and over, though his nerves didn’t seem to listen.

Shane wasn’t used to feeling like this, all irrational and sweaty over someone. Over _Ryan_ , for God’s sake. This completely went against their normal dynamic of Ryan being the one that ran around and panicked while Shane kept his cool. But the anticipation of spending the night sleeping next to Ryan, the stupid hope of _maybe_ , really put a stop on the whole staying calm part.

And then Ryan came out of the bathroom. Shane blinked a couple of times, his brain trying to process what it was seeing. Ryan was wearing a matching set of bright red pajamas. Pajamas that had little dachshunds all over. And they were wearing little Santa hats.

It was the most fucking adorable thing Shane had ever seen.

“It was a gift from my mom,” Ryan said, looking a little embarrassed. “If I’d know that we –  I mean, they’re warm, and I thought –”

“No, I like them,” Shane said, grinning. “They’re really cute, Ryan. Your mom has good taste.”

Ryan scoffed out a laugh as he walked over to the other side of the bed.

Shane’s stomach flipped as Ryan got under the covers.

But then Ryan just said, “G’night,” and turned on his side so that his back was to Shane. And by the time Shane gave up pretending to watch the movie and turned it off, he realized he had to admit defeat. His scheme hadn't worked. He and Ryan weren’t even close to repairing their friendship, much less kissing again. He was just going to have to get over this crush he’d so inconveniently developed.

***

The next morning as they got ready, Shane kept reminding himself over and over that things with Ryan were never going to progress to anything more. They’d just been drunk and horny at a holiday party – not exactly the best start. Hell, not a start at all, it seemed, except perhaps the erosion of their friendship.

They made vague plans to work a little on ideas for the show after lunch as they headed down for breakfast. There was already a small group of their coworkers happily digging into large plates of food.

Shane felt the first challenge of the day as Ryan sat down. There was an empty seat next to Ryan that Shane could’ve taken. He hesitated, _wanting_ to sit next to Ryan. But his decision to not let this stupid crush win held steady, and so Shane kept walking to the other end of the table and took a seat next to Daysha.

Shane: 1. Curse: 124. Shane had some catching up to do.

Shane really threw himself into it the best he could. He put on his coat and went out with everyone, trying to ignore the way that Ryan looked really cute with the red and white scarf around his neck. Shane joked around with Keith and took more pictures of Andrew and Adam to send to Steven. He helped Jen with the lunch orders, and by the time he and Ryan were in the lounge with legal pads and pens, he was a little proud of himself.

“You ready to rock’n’roll?” Shane asked, making himself comfortable on the couch. He was going to ignore the ocean of space between him and Ryan, who was sitting on the other side.

“Born ready. Okay, so I made a list of all the cryptids we haven’t covered yet, and I gotta say, an episode on sea monsters would be pretty cool.”

“You think Buzzfeed would pony up for a submarine?”

“No harm in asking,” Ryan said with a shrug, giving Shane one of those blinding smiles.

Shane looked away, pretending to be busy writing on his notepad. “Alright, so exploratory submarine mission is on the list.”

Whatever Ryan was about to say next got lost as Andrew’s voice called from the stairs, “Hey!”

Ryan and Shane both instantly turned and saw Andrew and Adam standing halfway down the stairs. Andrew was pointing a phone at them. “Steven says he wants a picture of you two kissing!”

Shane just raised his two middle fingers up at them and said, “Tell Steven to kiss this!”

Andrew smiled down at his phone, where Shane guessed Steven was probably watching through a video call. Andrew and Adam made their way back up the stairs, leaving some of their other coworkers that were spread around the lounge giggling.

When he turned back to Ryan, Ryan’s face seemed a little red from embarrassment though at least he was actually meeting Shane’s gaze, which was an improvement from not being able to stand looking at him.

“They’ll stop eventually,” Shane said in what he hoped was an encouraging voice. “I think they’ll get the picture by this time next month that we’re just friends.”

“Yeah,” Ryan said, looking down at his notepad. Well, there went the eye contact.

Shane suppressed a sigh as they carried on with the rest of their brainstorming session.

***

Around the bonfire that night, Shane sat with Jen and avoided looking at the spot where Ryan was sitting with Brent. They hadn’t spent any more time together that afternoon, and Shane kept telling himself he was fine with it. It hadn’t been that long since The Incident, after all. They would both get over it, Shane would get over his crush, and things would probably return to normal at some point.

Shane could be patient.

Due to the whole _avoid looking too much at Ryan and thinking how nice he looks in the glow of the fire_ thing, he didn’t notice when Ryan suddenly disappeared. By the time Shane was unable to resist another peek, he was just gone, though Brent was still there.

 _Patience_ , Shane reminded himself. Ryan was a grown man, and Shane didn’t have to worry about where he’d gone to or if he was alright.

Shane had really hoped that there was a chance that Ryan could like him back. Ryan had liked him enough to kiss him, hadn’t he? But tonight was their last of the trip, and then after that…

There’d be no Christmas miracle. No New Years kiss. Shane would just have to deal with it.

He was one of the last ones to abandon the bonfire and head back inside. He tried not to think too much about whether Ryan would be there or not. Shane was over it. He was totally and completely not thinking about sleeping next to a Ryan Bergara who didn’t want anything to do with him, and it was totally not making him sad.

To his surprise, Ryan was already in the room sitting on the bed, leaning against the headrest. Only the bedside lamps were on, giving the room a warm, hazy glow. Ryan looked nervous and jumpy as Shane closed the door behind him and said, “Hey.”

Ryan said, “Hey,” back, but there was definitely something off.

“You okay?” Shane asked, a concerned frown on his face.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Ryan gave a very non-convincing, shaky laugh, and Shane wasn’t buying it.

“Alright,” he said, going to grab his stuff to get ready for bed. “If you say so.”

Ryan didn’t reply.

Shane tried to focus on changing into sleeping clothes and very carefully and meticulously brushing his teeth. If Ryan didn’t want to tell him what was wrong, Shane couldn’t force him. He was going to just go back out there and go to bed. He gave himself one last affirming nod in the mirror before opening the door.

Ryan was in the same spot that Shane had left him, though there was something different in his expression. He looked determined now, the way he usually did before stepping into some confined space in any of the places they visited.

Ryan turned to him as Shane approached the bed and said, “Hey, um. I know we said we wouldn’t make this weird, but…. Should we…” He sighed and seemed to give up on that sentence, rolling his eyes at himself. “What I mean to say is that we’ve been getting a lot of shit for hooking up even though we _didn’t_ , and I think that if we’re going to have to deal with the ramifications of this, then we should at least get to actually do it.”

Shane couldn’t quite process the words. He blinked as Ryan stared at him expectantly, shoulders tense and looking like might bolt any second.

“You want us to...hook up?”

Ryan seemed embarrassed, but he didn’t back down. “Yes. If – If you want to.”

If Shane wanted to? As if Shane hadn’t had constant, literal dreams about this! As if Shane could ever resist! Even if this completely fucked up everything, even if this meant that he was going to pine after Ryan Bergara for the rest of his life, he didn’t care. God, of course he wanted to.

So he said, “Okay.”

He went over to the bed and sat down. It was silly to be nervous – he’d kissed plenty of people before. He’d kissed _Ryan_ before, even. But he so badly wanted this to go right, to be good enough that maybe it wouldn’t be the last time.

He felt frozen, sitting there, staring at Ryan. His pulse was picking up.

Ryan must’ve seen that he needed a push because he sat up and leaned forward, until their faces were close together. Shane instinctively closed his eyes as he leaned in that last inch, pressing their lips together.

Ryan smelled just as good as Shane remembered. It sparked a heat in him, an urgent primal _want_ going off. He pressed closer, a slight shiver going through him as Ryan parted his lips and their tongues met.

A part of him was convinced that this was just another one of those dreams, that he was going to wake up any second now next to cold pillows and full of disappointment. But that just meant that he had to make this count even more, then. Enough to take with him back to the real world.

He managed to find the hem of Ryan’s shirt and pulled back from their kiss only long enough to get Ryan’s shirt off as well as his own. As soon as that was out of the way, he found Ryan’s mouth again.

Ryan’s hands were on Shane’s chest, running down his sides and then on his back, like he was trying to reach as much as he could. He tugged gently, and Shane quickly got the picture, repositioning himself until they were laying down, Shane mostly on top of Ryan.

Pressed this close together he could feel Ryan’s heart hammering in his chest. Ryan had one hand in Shane’s hair, the other on his lower back, sending sparks up and down Shane’s spine. Shane could feel that Ryan was already hard, and he couldn’t help the small moan that escaped him as he thought of all the things he wanted to do to Ryan.

As if reading his mind, Ryan shifted, moving them until Shane was now on the bed as well, side by side. Ryan got to work quickly, pulling on Shane’s pants and underwear until they were off.

Ryan had that dazed look on his face again, the one Shane still thought about from after their first kiss. Any jokes he could’ve made died as Ryan touched Shane’s cock, lightly, teasingly, making Shane suck in a breath at the feeling.

God, he wanted Ryan so badly. He reached out, tugging at Ryan’s pants until they were off too, Ryan kicking them off to the side as well as his underwear. He looked fucking gorgeous just like Shane knew he would.

He couldn’t help himself, he said, “Looking real good, Bergara,” his voice coming out deeper than he had meant it to.

“Shut up,” Ryan said, a slight laugh in his voice, but he was so obviously pleased by the compliment that Shane couldn’t help but pull him back in for another kiss.

Shane tried his best to take it as slow as he could, wanting more than anything for this to last as long as possible, to not miss out on a single moment.

Ryan responded eagerly as Shane’s hand wrapped around his cock, moaning against Shane’s mouth. Ryan was so hard, a bit of precome leaking as Shane began to stroke him.

Ryan pulled back from the kiss, rested his forehead against Shane’s and said, “Fuck yes. _Shane_.”

The way he said Shane’s name drove him insane, and when Ryan’s hand wrapped around Shane’s cock, Shane swore he was going to lose his goddamn mind.

They found a rhythm. They kept trying to kiss through it, sloppy exchanges that left Shane burning with want. He managed to drag his lips down Ryan’s throat, reaching a spot below his Adam’s apple that made Ryan gasp.

“Shane,” Ryan said again, sounding so fucking wrecked. Shane wanted to hear nothing else for the rest of his life except Ryan saying his name like that. “Fuck, I’m gonna –”

“Come on,” Shane said, pressing another kiss to Ryan’s neck.

Ryan’s hips jerked as he came in Shane’s hand, mouth open, and Shane felt his heart break open at the sight. God, he wanted this, wanted to so badly to be able to see that face forever, to know that he could make Ryan feel this good every night.

Shane wasn’t too far behind, his whole body shuddering as he came.

They managed to clean up as best as they could and turn off the lamps, the room falling into darkness. But Ryan was right next to him, warm and pliant as Shane pulled him closer. Ryan tucked himself into Shane’s side, fitting easily as if this was second nature already.

***

They woke up late the next morning and had to scramble to make it in time for the bus. They kept accidentally catching each others eyes as they got ready and smiling, and each time it gave Shane a feeling of giddiness, like he was some sort of middle schooler hanging out with his crush for the first time. Ryan looked different, Shane thought, stealing glances as they brushed their teeth side by side in the mirror. He looked brighter, more open – certainly much more different from these past few weeks.

“So,” Shane said, as they stepped out of their hotel room, coats on, bags in hand.

“So,” Ryan repeated, grinning at Shane.

“Last night was good, right?”

“It was good,” Ryan said, still smiling.

“Really good?”

“Okay, well now it just feels like you’re asking to inflate your ego, and I won’t fall for it, sir.”

Shane laughed, feeling disgustingly happy.

They sat together as they got on the bus, and Shane felt like things were finally clicking into place again, like things once again made sense. He can’t even be mad about waking up so early.

Brent turned around from where he was sitting in front of them. He leaned against the seat and said, “I see you two made up.”

“Yeah,” Shane said, “we managed to patch things up.” He smiled and turned to Ryan, but Ryan was staring at Brent with an alarmed, intent gaze.

“Thank God,” Brent said. “I seriously thought Ryan was going to die.”

“ _Brent_ ,” Ryan hissed, shooting daggers at him now. “Not cool.”

“No, wait wait wait,” Shane said. “I wanna hear this.”

Ignoring what sounded like noises of despair from Ryan, Brent said, “Oh, y’know, just the whole, Shane this, Shane that, what if this ruined our friendship, why can’t I stop thinking about it, blah blah blah. He was very sad. I literally couldn’t take it anymore. I was about to lock you two in a broom closet until you worked things out.”

Shane could feel the gigantic grin on his face get bigger at Brent’s words.

Ryan’s face was slightly red, and he looked like he would’ve loved nothing more than to go hide under several large rocks. “I’m literally gonna murder you,” he told Brent.

“Oh I think we can let the man live,” Shane said, bumping his shoulder with Ryan’s. “I mean, we did work things out, right? We worked it out real good.”

Brent laughed and said, “Gross, but good for you, man.” He extended a hand for a high five, which Shane happily and enthusiastically complied with.

“You’ve gotta be fucking shitting me,” Ryan said, arms crossed, but Shane could tell that he was trying his best to suppress a smile and that was all that mattered.

***

It had been over 24 hours since he and Ryan said goodbye in the Buzzfeed parking lot.

It was also Christmas Eve, but that felt like a secondary way to think about time.

It had been strange saying goodbye. He’d wanted more than anything to kiss him and make sure that Ryan knew that he was open to this, to them, to more. But he hadn’t been sure if Ryan was cool giving their co-workers a second show, and in the end they just stood by Ryan’s car, talking about what sort of holiday themed merch they should try to push for next year.

When they finally forced themselves to say goodbye, Shane didn’t get the sense that they had been ignoring what had happened the night before. It seemed like Ryan was just as into it as Shane was, and whenever Shane remembered what Brent had said, he felt hopeful that this meant that something more would happen.

But the three times that he had texted Ryan since then, Ryan had only replied with short texts and an apology that he was busy helping his mother prepare for Christmas.

Shane tried his best to not let his thoughts twist it into anything else. Ryan probably really was busy getting the house ready and cleaning and cooking and all of that. It probably wasn’t an excuse to not talk to him, and it probably wasn’t that Ryan now regretted what had happened and was back to avoiding him.

God he really hoped it wasn’t that.

And so Shane was just hanging out in his apartment, trying his best to get into the Christmas spirit and failing. It just didn’t feel like Christmas. It was 70 degrees outside, for one thing. No snow, no scarves, no one telling him to stop punching his brother. Shane hadn’t even bothered to put up a Christmas tree this year, too preoccupied with the Ryan crisis to even give much thought to it. Now he sort of wished he had. A little sparkle might’ve made him feel better.

He finally settled on trying to watch some holiday movies in the hopes of at least filling the time, but halfway into _Love Actually_ he realized that probably wasn’t the best choice.

It just made him keep thinking of Ryan.

He really hoped that Ryan didn’t regret what happened. The more Shane thought about it, the more sure he felt that he and Ryan would be a pretty good thing. Hell, they already were. They traveled around, cracking jokes and sharing this special thing that they were creating. It probably wasn’t smart to risk that by entering into a romantic venture, but if Shane had to bet on anyone, he would bet on Ryan.

He wasn’t sure he was prepared to go the rest of his life knowing what it was like to kiss Ryan, to make him come, and to then resign himself to being friends and only friends.

David had just started ringing every door looking for Natalie when Shane heard a knock on his own door. Frowning, he paused the movie and went to see who it could possibly be.

As he opened the door, he saw Ryan standing there, wearing a rather nice button up shirt and grey slacks.

“Hi,” Shane said, feeling surprised and nervous and happy all in rushing and confusing amounts.

“Hey,” Ryan said back, giving Shane a smile that looked slightly hesitant.

Shane wasn’t sure what it meant, and it took him a second too long to realize that the normal and polite thing to do here was to invite Ryan in instead of staring at him by the door.

“Come in,” he said quickly, opening the door wide to let him through.

Ryan did, though he stopped just a few feet in, and Shane felt nervous all over again.

“So what’s up?” Shane asked, hoping it didn’t come off as painfully awkward as it felt.

“I came by to see what you were doing tonight,” Ryan answered, still looking like he wasn’t sure if being here was the right decision.

“Pretty much this,” Shane said, motioning vaguely to his apartment.

“Exciting,” Ryan said teasingly, finally breaking into a smile that made Shane smile right back.

“Hey, I can’t exactly go out and make snowmen out here in –”

“Jesus, here we go with the snow talk again!”

“– sunny California weather. Santa would die from heat exhaustion wearing his suit out here, is all I'm saying.”

“Yeah yeah yea, the Midwest knows snow – “

“We know snow, baby!”

“We get it,” Ryan said, rolling his eyes, but his smile was wide. “I’m actually here to see if you, uh, wanted to come to my parents’ Christmas party. You don’t have to, obviously, if it would be weird, but there’ll be food and lots of drunk relatives and it might be fun.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Shane said, not even thinking about it, jumping at the chance to spend time with Ryan.

“Awesome,” Ryan said, looking relieved for a moment, as if there was a universe where Shane would’ve turned him down. “Um, I’m also here because… What happened at the retreat…”

Something tightened painfully in Shane’s chest, a dread, a fear that Ryan would say it was all a mistake. Ryan didn’t seem like he was going to continue, so Shane said, “Yes?”

“I talked to Jen.”

“Oh.” Suddenly Shane felt like he was about to break into a cold sweat, like he’d been caught red handed. “What did she say?”

“That it was your idea for us to room together.” Ryan looked at him intently, like whatever Shane said was going to be very important and Ryan had to give him his undivided attention.

It felt overwhelming. Shane was too aware of the fact that he was probably about to ruin this. His thoughts sped by too fast to make any sense. He was torn between coming up with a lie or trying to joke his way out of it, but as the seconds ticked by, nothing was coming to mind. Ryan was staring at him, expecting an answer, and so he figured fuck it, the truth it was then.

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry, I did…. Um...I just… I’m sorry that I lied. I just hoped that –” He didn’t have to finish his sentence because Ryan walked towards him and pulled him into a kiss.

***

They arrived a bit late to the Christmas party.

The Bergara home was full of people, everyone dressed in fancy outfits. There was music and the sound of people laughing and having a good time. Shane had only been to Ryan’s parents’ house a couple of times before, but he always liked the energy that the house exuded. It was warm and inviting.

Ryan was leading him to the kitchen so they could grab food when Shane spotted it: a picture frame lovingly placed on the wall showing off a toddler sized Ryan wearing Mickey ears. Shane could feel his face completely melting at the sight.

“Ryan! Look at your little baby face!”

“I’m true to my roots,” Ryan said, looking a little embarrassed.

“I love it. The world needs to see this.” He took out his phone and sent it out to ‘gram town.

“Are you going to take a picture of every single baby photo of me? 'Cause there’s a lot.”

“Yes, absolutely. And I’m going to steal one as well, but I won’t tell you which,” Shane said, which made Ryan laugh.

“Come on, you klepto,” he said, grabbed Shane’s hand and pulling him towards the kitchen.

They were stockpiling their plates full of food when Ryan’s mom came in. She smiled widely as she spotted them and quickly made her way towards them. “Shane! Hi!” She gave him a hug, which he wasn’t expecting but gladly returned. “I’m so glad you made it!” she said.

“Thank you so much for having me. It’s a lovely party.”

“Thank you, I hope you enjoy yourself. I know Ryan’s really happy that you’re here.” She gave Shane a wink, and Ryan looked absolutely mortified.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Shane said, grinning at Ryan, who quickly said, “Okay, thanks, Mom. Shane and I are gonna be outside.”

Ryan practically pushed Shane out towards the backyard, barely giving him time to grab his plate and wave goodbye to his mom. The whole backyard had tables scattered around, letting the party spill out into the night. The Christmas lights hung up around the fence gave everything a twinkly glow that reminded Shane of the holiday party. It seemed long ago, though he knew it wasn’t really.

“Sorry about my mom,” Ryan said as they sat at one of the tables.

“No, she’s great.”

“She’s just excited that you’re here. She, uh, she thinks you’re really great.”

“Yeah? Your mom’s a Shaniac?” he asked teasingly.

Ryan laughed, loud and bright. “No, you dick. You can’t recruit my mom into your camp.”

“Too late. I’m gonna get her a t-shirt.”

“She might wear it, actually,” he conceded. “Um, actually… My parents kinda think we’re dating. I didn’t – I didn’t tell them that, but they just kinda...assumed. I guess I just talk about you a lot and...” Ryan shrugged, not finishing his sentence.

“Oh,” Shane said. His heart beat loudly in his chest. “I don’t mind.”

“You don’t?” Ryan asked, looking at Shane like he was trying to figure out if he meant it.

“No, I – I’d hate to correct them.”

“Cool. Um, yeah, me too.”

Shane grinned and said, “Good.”

He felt brave enough, then, to lean in and kiss Ryan. Ryan kissed him back. _The curse wasn’t a curse after all,_ Shane thought hazily. It was a blessing.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [miraclesofpaul.tumblr.com](http://miraclesofpaul.tumblr.com)


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